


Gridlock

by alienzbarz



Series: Detroit: Become Pain [2]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: A whole heaping helping of ANGST for our blonde sunshine boy, Angst, M/M, Slow Burn, the slowest of burns lmao welcome to my hell
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-10-29
Packaged: 2019-08-09 11:07:12
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16448759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alienzbarz/pseuds/alienzbarz
Summary: It hits him. Not all at once, because denial is a funny thing. It didn't matter what you told him before then. He knew, in the back of the head he always knew. He knew, from the moment Markus's arms circled around him and he felt safe, like he was finally home. He knew. He knew, from the constant stolen glances, or the pauses between Markus's laughter so he could truly take it all in.He knew, watching him put his hand against hers, watching the brilliant glow that could've encapsuled him in an eternal hell and burnt him into a crisp, frying his circuits in seconds.If you told him he was in love, he would laugh at you.He knew. He knew the whole time. He also knew what that meant for him.





	Gridlock

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! Welcome to the angst train. I originally started writing this as a HankCon story, posted it, and swiftly realized that it would've worked MUCH better as a Markus/Simon fic, with the angst that Markus/North would've brought my boy Simon here. 
> 
> This fic is based off of a love I've had for someone for about 5 years. I've known them for much, much longer than that, though. I will try to update this frequently. It will sort of be a vent for me, but god hecking damn it if I don't want to see my android babies happy. It'll have an end... when I feel like it should. 
> 
> Fair warning: There will be serious mentions of violence, death, drugs, alcohol, suicide, etc. but it is not the main focus of the story.

**_16 DECEMBER 2038, 2:57 PM_ **

 

In all reality, Simon couldn't have told you how he got there.

 

A lot of Simon's past had been muddled within the revolution of the war. Androids don't forget, per se, but like humans, they were capable of filtering out unnecessary information quickly, freeing up space in their mind for other things. Simon's past wasn't something he wanted to dive too far into, so he pushed it to the back of his mind, along with other things. The rain was a nice touch, it ran over his sweater and turned it a dark blue. His hair transformed into a muddled mess of light and dark blonde as the wet streaks made their way across his face. He knew the sensation all too well.

 

Simon enjoyed the rain. It gave him something to think about other than whatever thoughts were racing through his head. He could focus on raindrops or just listen to the sound of the water patting onto different objects. It was calming, soothing. He watched his feet dangle from the same place Markus had been just hours before. He could see a good amount of the Detroit skyline from there, the shadow cast on it by the rain. It was gorgeous, really, despite the place he was in. All things were well and good when...

 

"I thought I might find you here." He was snapped back to reality by a similar voice. He suddenly remembered what had brought him to that place, and he truly, truly wished that he could push any and all thoughts in that moment to the back of his head. He just wanted to be. Not alone, not afraid, but he wanted to be. 

 

"I wanted to be outside." He tried to make his voice sound as kind and genuine as possible, but he could still feel his blood boiling. Listening to North go off on her tangent about declaring war on the humans would've made anyone just as mad. Listening to North in general would've pissed anyone off, aside from Markus who seemed to have the patience of a god. He felt disgust creep up in his throat, it took over his body and ran through his circuits for a few short seconds. Markus took it upon himself to walk behind him, his feet crunching on the gravel below. He sat down so he was facing the buildings to the right of Simon. 

 

Simon drew into himself when he felt Markus's shoulder leaning against his back. It wasn't unwelcome contact, but it was enough to snap him from his anger. "Listen." Markus said, level and calm, as he always was. "I know North is a lot." Simon could feel guilt pooling up in his chest, his thirium pump beginning to run a bit rampant. "I know you two don't always get along and I understand why, but I want you to try." Simon didn't reply, he didn't feel like he had the strength to tell him no. She could easily tear Markus apart and everything he believed in, in seconds. It didn't sit well with him.

 

Instead of expressing that concern, Simon gave a weak nod. He knew, deep down. He knew that he would never be able to truly get along with her. They constantly butted heads, she barely trusted Markus in doing what he believed was right. She was always so... hostile. So easily disturbed. When she entered one of her moods, there was no way to get her out of it. The thoughts flooded from his mind when Markus pressed his head firmly against Simon's back, resting just between his shoulders. He was pressing more of himself into Simon now, he felt close enough for Simon to interface with him even through the fabric. 

 

 _She's not good for you._ The echo took over Simon's mind, and he was suddenly afraid that Markus could hear him just based on how close they were. He had the power to communicate with him without words whenever he wanted, but he wasn't sure what that would mean if he didn't want that. Judging by the way that Markus didn't even stir, the thought had not made its way past Simon's head. 

 

"Si?" Markus finally said, after their pause of silence. Simon straightened himself out slightly.

 

"Hm?" Simon hummed in reply.

 

"Can I be honest?" 

 

"Always."

 

Markus took a deep breath, needing to feel something real and raw through his system before he tried to actually talk. "Sometimes..." He fiddled with his hands. "Sometimes I feel like I could save the world and everyone in it. And sometimes I feel like I could be the thing that makes it a hundred times worse. I'm afraid that I won't know what to do, when it really comes down to the wire again." 

 

Simon nearly winces. He was sitting there, making things worse by not being able to agree with North on a few stupid things that she would never even act on while Markus held the entire world on his shoulders constantly. He turned his body so that Markus and him were sitting side by side, and Markus had Simon's actual shoulder to lean on. "The weight of the world isn't ever going to get any lighter." Simon said. Markus followed that with a long sigh. "But that doesn't mean that it has to be yours alone. I'll stick with you, no matter what you decide to do."

 

Markus let a smile overtake his whole face, and Simon damned everything to hell that would ever want to take that away from him. It was as if that weight was lifted, even for a few seconds. 

 

"We should head back." Simon finally broke the silence between them. He also wanted to distract from the fact that he was staring. "You seriously followed me all the way here."

 

Markus gave a weak smile, followed by the sweetest puppy dog eyes in the universe. He was practically begging Simon to say that they should stay, but Simon feared what would happen if he did. He could feel the bubbling urge to tell him everything he had been thinking when Markus finally moved away from him. 

 

"I did and I didn't. I knew where you were going when I saw you storm out of Jericho." Despite the fact that the ship itself had been destroyed, the name still stuck. It felt like something that belonged to those who were free, all of them collectively. It was their group, their sanctuary. Simon stood, walking off the beam and steadying himself against one of the brick walls that surrounded them. 

 

"It was a long walk. Why did you follow me?" Simon asked, fixing Markus with a peculiar stare.

 

"I..." Markus scratched the back of his neck. What was that? Markus was... nervous? "I needed to make sure you were alright."

 

In that moment, Simon felt that same urge coming back. Instead of ignoring it, he snapped. "I'm fine, Markus." His voice was pointed and harsh. He didn't understand the irrational anger, and it sunk in deeper when Markus gave him a look of confusion. Simon was probably the most patient and level-headed of the four, aside from Markus, of course. He didn't let his opinions bleed through or cloud situations, and kept his feelings at a comfortable distance. To say that whatever Simon felt was brewing for a while was an understatement, and Markus knew it. Markus showing genuine concern for him was just like poking the bear with a stick. "We should really get back. We're spearheading a rally later today. You called it, we need to prepare."

 

Markus watched as Simon walked past him. "Well, yes but-" He tried to think of the right thing to say. In all honesty, he was much more worried about Simon than he was about the rally. That only made Simon run faster. Markus picked up his speed to keep up with how fast he was going. He grabbed Simon's arm. The way Simon's eyes shot from Markus to his arm told Markus all he needed to know. "You know you can talk to me, right?" Markus's hands lingered and stung Simon's code deeply. He felt his synthetic heart stutter as he moved his hand away. 

 

Simon said nothing as he walked away, keeping a safe enough distance from Markus. He knew, though. He hoped Markus did too.

 

* * *

 

**_16 DECEMBER 2038, 4:10 PM_ **

 

While gathering up supplies for the rally, Simon came across the old flag that had been living in their new building's storage room. He remembered that night and everything that came with it. Being in charge of his own team was a bit intimidating at first, but it's nothing he hadn't done before. Having all of his colleagues listen to him, and even those he never met... it was mindblowing and almost terrifying. 

 

He touched the flag to reveal the old holographic logo with their symbol on it. It glittered against the ground, pulsing. He pondered it for a moment before closing the flag and pocketing it. It felt appropriate to take. Simon was so lost in thought that he didn't register the figure behind him.

 

"Oh... Hey." Came out of him awkwardly when he realized who it was. North was probably the last person he wanted to see in that moment. He didn't want to hear whatever she had to say.

 

"I-" She started. There was something strained and off about her. "I didn't mean to piss you off earlier. I guess this is me..." She trailed off. Simon understood.

 

"I get it, you don't do apologies. It's fine. I know you didn't mean anything by what you said."  _Sometimes you just run your mouth and don't understand when to stop._ He bit his tongue.

 

North looked almost shocked. "I-I did. I don't understand why you shut down when any of us ask about your past." Suddenly, Simon was back to being stone cold. He didn't know why he should even try with her anymore.

 

"Where I came from is not important, North. I understand that you sharing your past wasn't easy," She opened her mouth, as if to protest. As if she was going to tell him how difficult it was for her. He understood. "Undeniably. But I have some things that I need to learn how to work through on my own, okay? I don't need to explain to you why I don't feel like killing every human I come by." North said nothing, not letting her face falter as she left the storage room. Simon took a deep breath he knew he didn't need as he rummaged through the rest of the boxes in the storage room, looking for holographic taggers and whatnot.

 

_This is going to be a long day._

* * *

_**16 DECEMBER 2038, 6:24 PM** _

 

Simon was among a crowd of androids, most with their skin deactivated to reveal the white chassis underneath. The rally had begun roughly at 6 PM, and the RIOT police were beginning to get rowdy. Simon could tell, from the muted clicks of loading guns over the shouting of the androids that being where they were, standing in front of the highest court house in Michigan, that nothing was safe. If they didn't act now, they could all risk being shot in a nonviolent protest asking for a sped up process of granting androids the rights that they deserved.

 

There were signs everywhere, spanning across the entire crowd. All had mixed messages but they all boiled down the the same idea. They wanted their freedom that had been promised to them on the night of Markus's demonstration, where they had made hearts of Americans everywhere sing with them. Markus stood at the forefront of the crowd alone, with Simon, North, and Josh close behind him. He held no sign, all he held was his fist in the air, bravely in front of the line of soldiers that had blocked their way from entering the courthouse.

 

Simon watched in awe as Markus demonstrated complete calmness, even in the face of danger. He argued back and forth with the head officer for a while, telling him over and over that they refused to move. Simon could see a shift in both sides, the officers looked plagued by something and the androids behind were starting to debate going back. A sense of danger settled between both crowds, as if waiting in purgatory for something to happen, some switch to flip.

 

It didn't take long before it did. Just an hour into the rally, the officers had seemingly given in and began to "break" their barrier. Instead of truly breaking it, a bomb of sorts was thrown into the middle of the crowd of androids. The bomb let off an electric pulse that incapacitated half the crowd. 

 

"EMP!" Markus shouted, making some of the androids effectively dodge behind some sort of cover. Others didn't move and stood their ground, which, in turn, lead to them being incapacitated with the rest. Markus was not prepared when the rally broke into chaos, humans fighting androids and officers dragging them away when they refused to move. He assumed that they'd be put into jail, since all recall centers had been destroyed during the revolution. However, they wouldn't be tried as citizens. Simon ducked behind a plastic crate as the third EMP bomb landed on the crowd. He watched as another group of androids fell in front of him. He couldn't tell who was alive, and who was not.

 

"Markus!" North cried from the crowd. She wasn't paralyzed, but she could hardly move her arms. Markus came to her aid in few seconds, grabbing her hand and helping her to her feet. She rummaged around in her backpack, pulling out a molotov. "You have to fight back." Her voice began to glitch and Markus found himself panicking. He knew she was not going to shut down, as the EMP did not cause any internal damage, but he didn't know if he was doing the right thing. Her system began restart and Markus grabbed the molotov from her hands in a quick surge of rage. He lit the fuse and raised his arm.

 

Simon watched as Markus wound his arm back, ready to throw the grenade he had been offered. He came behind Markus, grabbing his arm before it could release. "Violence has never been an option, Markus!" He shouted. "No one is going to die here. No one has to die here." Simon saw the flash of guilt come across Markus's face as he lowered his arm. He looked just as lost as he had earlier that day. Markus threw the molotov as hard as he could in the other direction to make sure that no one had to be harmed. He watched the flame burn into the asphalt for a few minutes, burning all the alcohol that had been inside of it, before fizzling out in the snow.

 

Simon patted his back and helped North up after her system had fully restarted itself. The group had finally decided to cease their demonstration, and waited for the crowd to finish rebooting before finally deciding it was time to retreat and plan their next course of action. 

 


End file.
